Super 🎉🎉🎉 way to start the Monday after a holiday weekend. I will tell you without shame that I’ve checked my Amazon ranking daily every single day since my book came out. It’s chugging along, selling decently but always sort of refreshing in the background of my mind while I do my corporate consulting/speaking work helping businesses do a better job of supporting parents. Moments like these make the “holy shit, I wrote a book” butterflies come back, and it feels a little bit like when my kids are at school or camp or a play date, away from me, but hopefully doing some little bit of good in the world. 💛
When I left Glamour, my friend @lizegan3 gave me this advice: “screw around for a month enjoying the freedom of not having a desk job, and then get a routine...you get to decide what it is, but for sure, GET one.” I had heard about a library on my street that had two floors where writers liked to work. It was stately and silent. No one uttered a peep (lest that one lady give you her death glare). No one ate. No one drank anything but water.
So, go figure that I met three of my closest friends there as we wrote and wrote and held each other accountable in whispers. We shivered on the front steps in winter, wrapped in our coats and eating sandwiches. And we stood up for each other with righteous indignation when one of us got in trouble for unwrapping a cough drop or taking a call from the pediatrician.
I needed these friends. In my old job, someone had told me, “you’re the boss now...you can’t really be friends with people the way you used to.” I never wanted to believe that. Never did. But it was an unexpected joy once again in that fever year of writing alone to have not just peers but colleagues I could look up to...people who were on page 100 when I was on page 1. They were (are) mothers, empaths, and just creative brilliant people I adore. And they showed me how to do this thing.
This month two of the four of us have new books out!! And they’re freaking GREAT. .
🚧 GIRLS LIKE US 🚧 by @cristina.alger is just out today. Inspired by a series of true unsolved murders, it tells the story of Nell, a woman with a complicated relationship with her father who seeks to solve the one crime he never could. In an era of unreliable crazy female narrators, Cristina is reclaiming the thriller genre for smart, brave, nuanced women. Cristy is also in her third trimester with her third child and launching on book tour today. All 👏👏👏. .
🚢 THE FLOATING FELDMANS 🛳, by @elyssafriedland is the romp of the summer. The Feldmans are basically your family and mine (substitute whatever flavor of drama applies) but better written and...on a boat, all three generations of dysfunction and hilarity. Highly recommend!
I remember so many people suggesting that I “fake it ‘til you make it" about returning to work after baby. Only problem? I cannot tell a lie to save my life, and I think I also knew, even back then, that the only problems we could solve were the ones we could see.💛 So. I owned my mess...visibly. Still, I suspect, even in my most obviously weak moments, that I was growing stronger in new ways too. 💛
Years later, I did research that proved me right: Women come back from maternity leave BETTER at their jobs (swear!). Here, in a post I wrote for @getcozykin, are three ways new moms are even better at their jobs after baby. Tag a friend who needs to internalize these strengths. And for anyone in NYC or Boston looking for childcare, check out CozyKin, which arranges and manages Montessori-inspired #nannyshares at home. Schedule a simple introductory call with them by June 30, 2019 and you can save up to $1,000 off your deposit when using the offer code LAUREN2019. Copy and paste this link: http://bit.ly/2J6MIRs. I’ll link it in my Stories (along with a link to the whole blog post) too.
Excited for this fun and meaningful giveaway:
Do you guys know @lydiafenet? She's a Managing Director at Christie's, the best auctioneer I've EVER seen (she’s raised more than half a billion dollars for 400+ nonprofits), and she's the author of this game-changing book on winning at work and life, The Most Powerful Woman in the Room Is You. You might remember Lydia from my book — she was the badass mom of three who pumped in staff meetings and coached all the women around her on how to get PAID.
When it was Lydia’s turn to write her book, she interviewed me on the power of community (that’s you guys!). Slide on over to see my quote. And hers in my book too.
Anyway! Onto the free stuff!!Lydia and I are giving away one signed copy of each of our books 📒📕plus a personalized engraved-with-your-initials 💄@cledepeaubeauteus lipgloss. I love my LSB.
1) Make sure you’re following @thefifhtrimester and @lydiafenet.
2) Comment and tag two people who could use these books!
And that’s it! We will pick a winner in a few days. Good luck!
#thefifthtrimester #themostpowerfulwomanintheroomisyou #newmom #knowyourworth #getpaid #bossmom #giveaway #bookstagram #feminist #workingmom #worklifebalance #mombook #businessbook #ceomom
What are the new rules for retaining women in the workplace? Last week, I had the supreme honor of helping define them at @nytlive New Rules Summit. And today, our recommendations -- on beating the Motherhood Penalty, on enlisting men as allies, on shaking off bias, on balancing the boardroom, being the only woman, and more -- are published for the world to see: This matters, it's possible, and, in fact, it's urgent.
The working group I led was tasked with defining solutions to the Motherhood Penalty that would go "beyond the lactation room" to correct and protect mothers' income and status.
Slides 1-5: Today's @nytimes (linked in my Stories and bio)
Slides 6-7: Our working group set up
Slide 8: My hand-out to attendees before
Slide 9: My hand-out to attendees after (No one said that working motherhood was particularly tidy, and frankly given that this piece of paper has been carried in my bag, post-conference, through a weekend full of birthday parties and cannonball contests, I'm shocked it's no destroyed!) 🙌
Thank you to the Times and to the other working group hosts: @fairygodboss Georgene Huang, Michael Chamberlain @catalystinc, @ebay's VP and Chief Diversity Officer @damienhcampbell; @columbia_biz's Mabel Abraham, Rachel Thomas, co-founder and president of @leaninorg; Sukhinder Singh Cassidy, president of StubHub; Dalana Brand, head of inclusion at Twitter; workplace culture strategist Daisy Auger-Dominguez; New America's @brigidschulte ; Safiya Noble, information studies and African American studies at UCLA; and the Clayman Institute's remarkable Marianne Cooper.
The greatest leg up I’ve had in my career is this guy @jayrsmth ...but he’d be the first to tell you: No way, credit Mom. Which I think says it all. His respect of her work — paid and not over the years — taught me that all mothers work. And that the best dads are true partners. And that daughters can and should be able to do anything they dream. What’s been really extra fun these past few years is when my dreams for myself overlap with his — which happens a lot. It happened 11 years ago today when I became a parent (happy birthday to my Will!!), and coincidentally it also happened today in The New York Times. This photo is from my dad’s desk at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution. And the next two are from a special working women’s handbook that was in today’s Sunday @nytimes. I love you, Dad, and I know how very very lucky I am. Happy Father’s Day.
Happy Father’s Day to my screensaver, my 22-year love, my best friend who’s proudest of me and pushingest of me, my partner in all of this and a truly amazing dad. I love you, @zekebrody.
Here’s my sweet Will (photos approved 😂) on his first and last days of lower school. In Kindergarten, his primary interest was “deconstructing” whatever household appliance had stopped working. These days, he’s more likely to call that tinkering “reverse engineering,” with a sly grin so we’ll let him at our old laptops from college. But I love that he applies that same take-it-apart-and-rethink-it approach to all kinds of other challenges in front of him too. He always asks the question at the heart of the matter. And forges his own way to an answer.
His pride in my work helps me know that I’m doing something right here.
Will, no matter how big you get in that picture on the right, I’ll always see the little guy on the left inside you.
Happy birthday to this soulful, big-hearted eight-year-old, who once told me, on the first lovely day of spring, “Mommy, the air feels like music on my skin.” Teddy, may you always be so freewheeling with your poetry. We all need it.
It’s finally up!!! 💥
This morning’s version of doing it (haha) all: Taking my (fed Nutella by my husband) boys to school, prepping for a 9:15 call (in which I’m not really sure what I want to say)...and bursting with unabashed pride about this @nytimes story I wrote that’s just up: HOW TO BE A WORKING MOM. It’s part of a whole series of guides for working women that features brilliant experts including @elainewelteroth, @thewildwong, @racheljsimmons, and lots more genius thinkers and advocates on issues including burnout, impostor syndrome, financial negotiation and more. 💥
Here’s the challenge: My definitive guide to working motherhood (ha!) needed to be thorough, universal, and...about 1500 words long. (That’s 1/70th the length of my book, which covers only the baby stuff.) Enter the world’s most thoughtful, fair, inclusive-minded @nytgender editor, @jessicabennett. But tell me: What did I miss? What would you add? And please, share, share, share.
Gorgeous illos by @abbey_lossing and link in bio, of course!
Free back-to-work event next week!! I’ll be talking all things Fifth Trimester with @hatchgal ‘s Ariane brilliant Ariane Goldman, truly famous lottery-ticket-buying Lindsey Plotnick Berger from UES Mommas (seriously worth a Google if you don’t know what I’m taking about), and the folks from @getcozykin who are sponsoring this event at The Penrose. I might even show up looking un-frazzled because this is three blocks from my apartment (working mom hallelujah). Who am I kidding? I will be frazzled and own it because frazzled is on brand! Swipe for rsvp info!
Guys! This is a real sign three blocks from my apartment in NYC. .
Progress is: A week ago, I jogged past the dusty, scaffolded construction site that’s been clogging up that corner for a year and noticed several badass women working there, lifting I-beams. I hesitated, thought of taking their picture, but then didn’t want to act like it was any big deal that a construction site would have a 5’ 1” woman in a weight belt, hauling big heavy crap around and building an actual building. So I kept jogging. .
Progress is: This morning, my artist friend @alexandrarowley posted this photo from this same corner, a new sign just up. Her seven-year-old son Elliott had noticed it on his way to school and implored his mother to put it on @instagram. Even he knew that these words — and the message behind them — was a big deal. .
Progress is: We are all works in progress. Thank you, Elliott, and thank you women. .
Now who wants me to go ask them about their paid family leave situation?