🎉🎉🎉You guys have heard me rave about @thedoubleshift, a beautiful and insightful new podcast about working motherhood by my friend journalist @katherinegoldstein. Katherine is coming to town and we’re doing a listening party and conversation on April 9 at my inspiring and gorgeous coworking space, @bealuminary. It’s cohosted by my awesome friend Leah Fink, founder of @classes_at. And I’ll have the honor of interviewing Katherine. We’ll be talking mom guilt, the Motherhood Penalty, podcastery, & her adventures interviewing some of the most fascinating, intrepid women I’ve ever heard of. Obviously, we’ll have @williamsburgpizza and wine. We’ve only got a few tickets left and I wanted to invite you! I’ll link to the rsvp (suggested donation $15) in my Stories. (PS: I can’t post about April 9 without saying happy bday to my MIL and my gorgeous goddaughter! 💛💛)
I don’t like this picture very much. Not because of the caverns of sleep deprivation under my eyes…but because it brings me right back to a time when I was skating on the edge of okay with a postpartum mood disorder. 🥀
Fast forward 10 years and I’m definitely posting it, because yesterday 🎉🎉the FDA approved the first-ever drug specifically for postpartum depression.
My husband, as you guys may know, is a psychiatrist who runs the inpatient psychiatric unit of a major academic hospital in NYC…where they will be using the treatment. Hello, work worlds colliding! 💊🌍🤱 We’re on vacation at the moment, so I decided to interview him as we got our boys ready for ski school this morning: 📝📝📝
Me: You’re excited about this drug.
Dr. B.: Yes, for sure. It’s an antidepressant that has a novel mechanism. It’s structurally very similar to progesterone.
Me: Hang on. You went straight to the chemistry. Progesterone is a naturally occurring hormone during pregnancy, right? So when you give birth, you have less of it?
Dr. B.: Yes, that’s right. This drug is an important option for women who don’t respond to standard treatments like antidepressants or psychotherapy. It requires a 60-hour infusion in a hospital setting and rapidly reduces symptoms.
Me: But if it works really well, and quickly, why wouldn’t you go straight to that?
Dr. B.: I would anticipate that most women will probably want to stay in their own homes with their babies. But I do think this drug can be a first-line option for women who prefer this treatment.
Me: Do you think insurance companies will see it that way?
Dr. B.: Great question. I would be cautiously optimistic that they will cover it for women who are truly in need, which is a significant population.
Me: The first thing that occurred to me when I read this news was that the treatment could help destigmatize postpartum depression. If there’s a medicine to treat it that works so quickly, no one can say it isn’t real.
Dr. B.: I hope you’re right. Depression is a medical illness. It is one of the leading causes of disability worldwide.
Me: Disability comes up in my Fifth Trimester work when moms have taken ⬇️
❄️Today’s rare and rather glorious version of “having it all” brought to you (me) by: my husband and in-laws, ski school for the kids, a potential client who didn’t blink when I mentioned I was “at altitude” (she’s got 5 women out of a team of 15 currently on maternity leave so I didn’t want to put this call off), and the lovely woman at the lift ticket desk who assured me that the “WIFI is great up there.” (Also by Amazon Prime for the snowshoe delivery when I finally got smart and stopped torturing myself with fear of death from skiing the bunny slopes.) #winning #workingmomlife #entrepreneur #alwaysworking #alwaysliving ❄️
💥Feeling brave this morning.💥 I'm a couple of time zones behind at the moment, so I'm probably the last of the fantastic women quoted in @liveworklead's @forbes story this morning to post...but that's a good thing because now I feel pressure to say something original. 🤣🙋♀️ Here goes.
I'm honored to be featured alongside these working mom advocates, but 🤫here's a BIG SECRET: We are competitors. Not all directly, but pretty close.
When I launched my company #thefifthtrimester I worried about that. After all, would most male entrepreneurs share resources and contacts? Would they promote each other's work? And yet, that's exactly what I've found myself -- and ALL of these women -- doing: Spending an hour or more every day writing emails titled: "introducing you two!" (yes, with an exclam...it's girly and it's FINE) and folding one another's businesses into our pitch calls -- "actually, it sounds like what you're looking for is services from my friend Sarah, too." And you know what? It doesn't just feel good...IT WORKS. It freaking works. One big giant rising tide. 🗣🌊🛥🌊🗣 This work is a privilege and these women are my colleagues, as we all sit, working, in Detroit, NY, LA -- often solo but never alone -- to forge this long overdue correction for mothers in the workplace. I'm SO proud of the way these women have made me rethink what real leadership looks like. Thanks to Mary Beth Ferrante for featuring us all here, and thanks to @motherhonestly, @mindrnyc, @elliemoms, @returnityproject, @thedoubleshift's @katherinegoldstein and many others. We are #bettertogether. Link in my Stories! 😘
Just putting this here so I can look at it whenever I need to as I head into a week of fleece-vest-clad freezing cold spring break with six (six!!!) male Brodys. 🥶❄️⛷🧔🧔👨👨👦👦🙋♀️. #girls #icecream #sunshine #sigh (gorgeous 📸 @___themillers )
🕯This seems like the perfect day to shine some light on my dear friends at @mv4ny (Muslim Volunteers for New York) who bring so much joy and service to children, the elderly, and the needy all over this city. They do baby pajama drives, book donations, make food for the hungry; basically they mother anyone who needs love with pure generosity. My kids and I plan to join their next two events, packing produce at @nycommonpantry on March 28, and a park cleanup at Rupert Park on April 13. How great would it be if we ALL showed up to help the helpers and show our love and support after today’s tragedy? Join me! The info is at @mv4ny. 💛
🎉 SOUND ON! That feeling when you’re giving a speech to support the launch a super important PAC for moms running for office....and your kids call. Or, in this case, it’s the grandkids, on FaceTime. Yes, that’s @hillaryclinton at @votemamaus’s launch! 🥰 💛💛💛
!!!! I’m meeting Hillary on Tuesday!!! Want to come with me? This vital new PAC @votemamaus will fund mom candidates up and down the Dem ticket so they can manage to run for office while they’re in the thick of the years in which they most need the change they would enact if elected. (Phew! That’s a big sentence but a woman’s work is never uncomplicated, right?) There are a few tickets left, starting at $500. If you’re interested in attending, please DM me.
This morning at school my son read a poem onstage for his school’s Latin culture celebration. It was about being two people at once, speaking two languages. Sitting there, soaking him up, realizing he had taken a moment without me to fix his hair with water in the bathroom, those words felt like they applied to me, too. To all working moms who are two people at once and yet also completely whole.
The theme of this year’s International Women’s Day is #BalanceforBetter. You guys probably already know that I have an allergy to the word “balance.” I resist the vision of a mom standing, core clenched, holding two separate worlds in her outstretched arms, like some fulcrum of an impossible seesaw. Where’s the joy in that? (Also, my core’s just not that strong!) Instead, how about a better ride? How about workplaces that allow home to interrupt (and realize you’ll be more productive for it, not less)? How about home life that allows access to work, and teaches our kids that sometimes you just dig in and get something done because it’s worth it? Let’s change the conversation one mom and one workplace at a time. It’s shouldn’t all be on parents — those of us barely holding it all together — to be the changemakers. And yet, here we are.
And, man, are we capable... particularly when we band together so that any mom whose seesaw is leaning faaaarrrr one direction one day can be bounced right back by another who’s looking out for her. I’m grateful to my band of merry changemakers who have come together to all post this image today: @milkstork @thedoubleshift @larken_shop @mindrnyc @liveworklead @elliemoms @moxxlyinc, and especially @thereturnityproject who brought us together. #IWD2019 #IWD19 #internationalwomensday #BalanceforBetter
Some of the most stretched #thefifthtrimester moms I’ve worked with either owned their own businesses, or worked in the food industry. Imagine if you did both. 🤯🤪🥳 All the 👏👏👏 to Chef @purslane_erin who founded the award-winning @fegesbbq in Houston with her husband Patrick...and had a baby at the same time! (PS: she’s my second cousin...or cousin twice removed...or something! I think she’s awesome.)
#Repost @bbqconfessional with @get_repost
“Bags under my eyes, hair is a mess, wearing one of two nursing shirts I rotate because they make life (and pumping in the car/office) easier, and holding the thing that turned my whole world upside down in the most wonderful way. I wouldn’t change a thing about this picture because it’s real. This is motherhood. Now come eat our bbq so we can send this little guy to college!” - Erin Smith. New mom, chef, @foodnetworkchopped champion, cashier, bookkeeper, all around badass, and 1/2 of Feges BBQ (@fegesbbq) #bbqconfessional
Somebody, please have some girls, Grandma Susan said. Sorry!! 👦👦👦👶
👏👍💛🧀Can we all take a second to cheer on @cheddar anchor @jillrwagner who is not only smack in the middle of her #FifthTrimester (her gorgeous daughter is 4 months old) but is also using her platform to focus on women in the workplace with a full-day live #ChedHER special this Friday? I’m going to be traveling to meet with coaching clients, so in classic flex-mom form, Jill and her producers invited me in early to tape my segment this morning. Things we covered on air (and off!):
- Why six months is the golden standard for parental leave
- Why it pays (literally, boosts profits) to support moms and keep us in the workplace
- Dads who lead by example at work and truly partner with their partners at home
- Jill’s awesome husband who uses their Nest camera so she can see their daughter wake up in the morning when Jill’s already been at work for the morning shift
- Teaching our kids about consent (Jill’s producer has a daughter my kids’ age)
- Modeling the job satisfaction we hope our kids will experience one day
- and so much more!
Tune in Fri!! And thank you, Jill, for being so real and honest and for working like crazy to help other women succeed financially.