A special post for people who aren't morning people

Have you seen this ridiculously brilliant ad for Organic Valley's Organic Balance shakes? I loved it so much I cold-called its creator, whom, it turns out, is a man! (A man, this in touch with the struggle that is 7a.m.? Yes.) David Littlejohn, the creative director of the brand agency Humanaut, attributes the spot's success to his largely female team. (Smart man.) But he also credits his working wife...and his role as a new dad to an eight-month old daughter. (Even smarter.)

This is how change happens, in my opinion: Parents do great work that reflects and propels culture for the masses...and then they aren't afraid to talk about the bottle strike their kid went on while they were doing it. Listen in:

The Fifth Trimester: I would love to know: Where did this genius idea come from? Tell me about the brainstorming process.
David Littlejohn: Well, that process is sometimes not as sexy as people think it is. It’s lots of conversations. But the real heart of the work we’re doing, is to say the thing that you’ve been feeling, but haven’t quite had the words to say. We knew that there was this growing trend of people posting this perfect stuff about their days, and editing out the bad stuff. 

Where did this client fit in?
Organic Balance is both an amazing product, and a compromise; it’s an organic breakfast, but in a bottle. We commissioned a study, we interviewed 1,000 women, we came back with a lot of stats. And we then could dispel the myth of this perfect, organic, artistic, journaling, yoga, healthy-eating woman…who statistically speaking, is a complete minority. 

Ah ha! I imagine that you’re probably a pretty enlightened guy, but has any of this work changed the lens through which you see women’s mornings?
Of course it was a little nerve-wracking to enter into this entire type of advertising directed at women. You’re kicking a potential hornet’s nest if you don’t do it well. But we knew that we were empowering women in real life, and backing it up with research. Plus, most of our staff is female, and the lead writer on this project is female. So we are definitely leaning into that. And I talked to my wife. We have an eight month old daughter, our first, so we’re totally in it. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just a man doing this campaign. And my wife said, “look, you’re a husband, a father, and a feminist. You can do this.” 

So, what did you learn about motherhood?
Two big insights. One, it was cool to see how much this topic transcended occupation, income, culture; everything. You could be a single mom with two jobs or a New York executive, and yet you are struggling with some of the same exact things. Second, I think the number we found is that 90% of women would rather be on time [to work] than be dressed to impress. I was excited to hear that they cared about the hustle, skipping makeup or what has become society’s BS, and just go do their jobs, and do them well. 

Any other interesting stats?
We said that about 21% of us start checking work email before we get out of bed, which is interesting, but the other side of that stat is that over 60% of women, something decently high, don’t even check their email until they get to work. That was reassuring to me. I felt the entire world was super-tech crazed, but maybe it’s not. I thought everyone was insane, but they’re not.

Let me ask you this, what assumptions do you think society makes of working dads that are incorrect?
That’s a really good question. I think that people don’t think that dads miss their kids very much during the day, or that it’s just not a big deal. I used to go on the road for business for 30 days at a time. Now, literally, I was going to have to be on the road for two weeks, and I felt like I couldn’t do it, so my wife and baby came to New York for the second week of the trip. And that was a new thing for me. And I know that other dads feel that, too. My business partner finally just said, “Look, I have to go home at 5:30 every day. If I don’t, I don’t get to see my kids.”

I think that’s huge. I have to ask, does your wife work, and did she take a maternity leave?
Yes. I think she took two months off, and is now back three days per week. We split a nanny three days per week with my sister. My daughter wouldn’t take a bottle all the time, or she was fussy; it wasn’t always the smoothest, but we wanted my wife to keep her momentum going. That’s one of the things that I think is weird about maternity leave. It isn’t like you can just turn the key back on, and everything is exactly how you left it. It is a sacrifice. You are putting a strain on personal relationships and on the flow of being in a culture. I don’t think people realize how much of a sacrifice women make, in every direction. 

Do you think campaigns like this one can change culture? 
I will say, we’re not necessarily trying to change culture as much as shift it rapidly into the direction that it’s beginning to go. There is an acceleration. It’s much, much harder to come out and be honest.

Were you able to take any time away from work when your wife gave birth? Not “time off.” “Off” is a misnomer.
I was able to take about three weeks. One totally checked out week, one week checking in now and then, and the third week was remote. What I experienced, which I thought was cool….I was worried that, as everyone said, parenthood really would change everything if I was totally absorbed in it. For a lot of guys, that’s really scary—you’ve seen a lot of your friends change. And I was also, on the flipside, afraid of not changing at all. I work a lot, and I’m very engaged in work. I was thinking, “shit, I’m growing my business and things are going so well…am I going to just stop caring about my business? What will happen?” Those seem like silly fears, but at the same time, they’re very, very real. 

Sounds just like the way a lot of women feel. And so? How did paternity leave go?
Every worry, every to-do in the outer ring of my mind just fell away. And it made everything else more focused. I was less distracted, less worried about dumb stuff. The things that were important became more important, and in the end, the important stuff was amplified in a really positive way. That was a cool feeling to not care about the wrong things anymore.

Did you have any idea there were this many breast-pump options?

Glory be!

This story rounds up 11 (eleven, folks!) different kinds based on your needs (which, to be clear, actually means: If you want one that's affordable, quiet, portable, dependable, and strong....well choose which three of those qualities are most important to you, and you've got options!).

So, just a quickie today, but this was too helpful not to pass along. (Thanks, Allison B., for sending the link!) xx

I have exactly 27 words to say about this Me-ternity nonsense

She...said...what?!  Photo credit: roblawton via Visual Hunt / CC BY-SA

(They're in big type down below if you want to skim.)

Oy, Meghann Foye! Over the past few days, a lot of people have asked my opinion about the interview novelist Meghann Foye gave to the NY Post making an impassioned plea for non parents (actually, mostly women) to take something she calls a Me-ternity leave—a sabbatical from work to stop and smell life's roses. (I won't link to it because I don't really want to donate more clicks to this cause, but feel free to google.)

Huh. I'm actually all for rose-smelling, and ALL for having enough non-working time to be a well- rounded person and then bring that well-roundedness to your job. But comparing maternity leave to a sabbatical?! Oh, honey, the thousands of livid tweets and responses (this one is my favorite so far) say almost everything I could and more.

I have exactly one thing to add from my research for my book (these are the 27 words):

I asked my survey takers: "Think back to before you had your baby. Did you ever resent the working parents at your office/workplace?" 
30% said YES.

And everyone I interviewed who said they'd felt that way said they regretted it immensely. 

Bottom line? Actually I have two:

1) Meghann Foye may be clueless about motherhood. But I know her just a bit through my past magazine career (she was most recently at Redbook.com). She's not evil. She's not all of the awful words everyone has called her. She's a woman with a novel to promote who must have gotten some bad -- really bad -- publicity advice. And she's now paying the price. What an awful lesson to learn.

2) Rather than ganging up on Meghann and feeding into the parents-versus-nonparents war she's naively incited, let's take this opportunity to reassess the way the workplace treats this demographic distinction. Those late nights Meghann remembers covering in the office as the parents ran out the door? I experienced them too. And then, later, as a parent, I was wracked with guilt every time I left at 6, and wished I could wear a t-shirt: "I'll be working again from 9pm to 12am, just FYI." But one of the best experiences I had, very early on in my career, pre-kids, was covering for a senior editor, a new mom, who was up to her eyeballs in work and life. There was a part of her job that she hated -- and that I coveted. Guess what? I got to take on that work and grow. She got to slough it off and make room for other kinds of more meaningful-to-her work. We were both happier for it. That whole arrangement was our idea. It took drive on my part and humility on hers. And a culture that allowed it.

Let's all work toward building that culture: parents, non-parents, just-starting-outs, higher-ups. This can happen. It has to.

Needed: The pumping mom's Airplane Bill of Rights!

Last week, I got this text from my sweet friend Sarah (I've changed her name), a producer, writer, and mom to a new baby. She was flying across the country, sans bebe, avec pump:

"There weren't outlets on the plane. So 10 hours of traveling without pumping. Then we land and I race to the family lounge, and while I'm in there a man starts banging on the door. I tried to yell out explaining, but when I finally finished he cursed me out, screaming obscenities. My eyes are still filled with tears. So embarrassing and stupid."

I have advice in my book about this very situation, a necessary inclusion, given that 25% of the moms I surveyed reported that they had to travel for work within their first three months back. It boils down to this: Pump at your seat on the plane, preferably a window seat, with a cover, using a pump that takes batteries. Bring extra batteries. Don't count on there being outlets—and if there are, don't count on them working.

But like SO much of The Fifth Trimester, this isn't simply a problem of logistics or facilities (though good ones certainly help). It's about culture and employee training. Working moms and even celebrities (go, Alyssa Milano) have tweeted at airlines about their bad experiences, and the airlines always apologize. Technically, the corporate office types know what they're supposed to do for us. But the message isn't making its way to the ears of the workers on the ground...or, ah, in the air. Check out the text I got from poor Sarah a couple of days later, on her way home:

"When I inquired about the outlets at the gate, the agent rudely said she'd check but then made sure to confirm I would only be using the bathroom (as though I planned to be inappropriate if I pumped in my row). When I asked on the plane about the lack of outlets and where women are expected to go, the flight attendant said, 'I guess at home.' Total lack of knowledge."

It gets better (or worse, actually). On Sarah's connecting flight, there was a nursing room across from her gate...but it required a key code to get in, and the gate agent didn't know it and couldn't find anyone who did in time before boarding. (Several of you have sent me pictures of the Mamava pumping/nursing pods in airports around the country—I have mixed feelings but am mostly glad the option exists for the small percentage of moms who can take advantage. More about this in a future post. Anyway, back to Sarah.)

"So I'm texting you while sitting on my flight, crying behind my sunglasses, less out of pain and more out of total frustration that not a single person could help, and that we have to endure this complete lack of choices."

Technically, legally, women are allowed to pump breastmilk on airplanes. They are allowed to carry larger-than-3.4 oz. quantities of milk (with or without their baby) through security, icepacks too. But when the guard at the scanner doesn't know that? Or when the gate agent has no clue what the code is to the nursing room? All that progress goes out the double-paned plastic window. The solution: Training, not just about the "rules," but about sensitivity. In 1980, 80% of flight attendants were under age 35. By 2007, only 20% were. So even though many are mothers themselves—working under really challenging and stressful circumstances, especially post 9/11—technology and societal expectations have changed since they traveled with their own babies. Time for a reset.

So, airlines, your mission:

1) Get some outlets, and make them work! But more importantly...

2) Train your staff to offer the kind of customer service you want to be known for. Give women options when their bodies require special care. Like this:
- Offer pumping moms extra water.
- Have extra batteries around just in case.
- Make it easy for a new mom to switch to a window seat for privacy.
- Learn the locations of lactation rooms in airports, and how to make them accessible.
- Tell other customers who can't stomach a pumping mom to avert their eyes and deal. After all, we were all babies once. But that doesn't mean we have to act like them now that we're grownups.

Wheels up, and peace out.

Why every new mother needs a good luck charm

Photo credit: lightlady via Visual hunt / CC BY

There is one additional thing every new mom should pack in her back to work bag : A good luck charm. A little dose of superstition actually increases your performance, research shows. In one study out of Germany, carrying a good luck charm increased subjects' abilities at golfing, motor dexterity, anagrams, and more. Why? Magic. Just kidding, not magic. Because activating a superstition bolsters confidence and self-efficacy. It also boosts your levels of persistence. All really helpful things when you're returning to work.

Why am I posting this today? Because this morning I gave a big talk about The Fifth Trimester to a bunch of HR/talent reps at very cool companies. Getting dressed beforehand, I found myself putting on a ring my mom gave me from when she was a teenager. And a lucky necklace my husband gave me for Mother's Day. And extra tall shoes. It all helped. I'm not a brand new mom anymore. My boys are 4 and 7. But this big career 180 (from being a magazine editor, to launching this business) is remarkably reminiscent of that same mashup of scary/fun.

Best of all was the little good luck gift my son gave me on our way to school when I decided to tell him I was nervous: He took his little paper bus receipt and folded it into an origami Yoda. Braver I have become, hmmm?

PS: This was an extra big day thanks to the very kind people at MyHabit who interviewed me about the book and about my kid-dressing style. I love their pictures of my boys and their support of working moms.

What about when Mommy cries? (What about when it's AT WORK?)

Photo via Flickr user raruschel (Raissa Ruschel)

A funny thing happens when you return to work before you feel like you're on solid ground, emotionally: You get emotional at work. I go into this in a lot more detail in my book, but I'll sum it up here: The 700+ women I surveyed said that they felt "back to normal" emotionally right around six months after giving birth, on average. You know where I'm going with this. By then, maternity leave was a distant speck in the rear view mirror.

It's the worst! The last thing you want to look like at work is a mess (and really, you're not a mess...think about all of the executive functioning skills it took just to get out of the house). And yet, there you are, crying at the office Keurig.

What helps (besides longer, paid maternity leave)? The experts I interviewed offered up wonderful ideas for self-care plans, little escape hatches for when you need to get your shit together, and fast. But, as you know, I'm also a fan of bringing your whole self to work and displaying some of those vulnerabilities. Can that include tears? If part of the point of The Fifth Trimester is showing your coworkers that they can get through this transition too (and still succeed at work), is it acceptable to cry?

"I'm by no means an advocate of being a leaky, sobby, out-of-control employee," Anne Kreamer, author of It's Always Personal: Navigating Emotions in the New Workplace told the audience of female lawyers at a lunch hosted by Law & Reorder that I attended this week. "But if you shed an occasional tear, it's okay." I hung on her every word—as a longtime big-media executive and mother of two, Kreamer knows her stuff—and learned these three things about crying at work:

1) Women cry differently than men do: "Women's tear ducts are anatomically different than men's," Kreamer told us. The result: Women have a higher volume of tears, and those tears are more likely to fall down their cheeks and be visible. So this is not a matter of women being hysterical and men being withholders. It's just how we're built.

2) Some crying requires managing up: "If you're facing a significant stressor," says Kreamer—and I will pause here to note that returning from maternity leave counts—"it's actually incumbent on you to mention that to your employer. Be clear and get ahead of it."

3) Crying actually does make you feel better: Cue that old song from Free to Be You and Me (which really holds up, by the way). "No one wants to cry at work, but you can take it as a helpful signal that you need to sit down and figure out what's really going on," says Kreamer. "Women report crying at work most often because they feel angry, not sad, and that can be a catalyst for hormone release in the body." Huh. I flipped to the index of Kreamer's (excellent, really recommend it) book to learn more. She writes: "Crying stimulates the production of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps us feel better—and that also reduces prolactin production, which eventually helps curb the flow of tears, resetting our emotional equilibrium."

So cry! Like every other little bit of The Fifth Trimester, it's temporary and surmountable. I leave you with this gem.

5 hidden ways motherhood impacts your career choices

Because, whether we like to admit it or not, it does. So let's own that.

When the Harvard Business Review released this story and an accompanying ICEDR report on Millennial women in the workplace, several news outlets latched on to its primary finding: Women don't leave their jobs because they want better work/life balance. They leave, first and foremost, for better pay. And indeed, the wage gap is real and persistent, with women making about 7% less than men—only about half of which can be accounted for by the old "she doesn't want to work as hard because she has kids" argument.

But, you guys. Check out this chart (the top five reasons baby-making-age women leave their companies) and let's give it the old fortune cookie treatment, but instead of adding "in bed" to each option, add "because as a mother...." Go ahead, try it. You'll see that motherhood infiltrates all of the reasons.

Taking it point by point....

1) "I found a job elsewhere that pays more money" because as a mother, I need to support my family and pay for childcare. 

2) "There are not enough opportunities for learning and development for me here" because as a mother, I need to know I can eventually advance to a leadership role and create a workplace that works for my life—and my peers'.

3) "The work here is not as interesting and as meaningful as I would like" because as a mother, if I'm going to spend my time away from my baby, you'd better believe I want to be doing work that feels worthwhile!

4) "There is not a fair balance between how hard I work and the compensation I receive" because as a mother that feels especially crappy for the exact reasons described above.

5) "We are starting a family, and I would like to spend more time with them" because as a mother, time is fleeting, and while I know I won't get these baby years back, I also don't want to lose years of my career.

The subtext all boils down to workplace culture and motherhood—two things that aren't at all easy to separate. You aren't only a worker at work and only a mother at home. Being a parent affects your outlook on nearly everything. So yes, by all means, look for a job that pays more. But let's all be open about why: More money, more passion, more interesting work makes us more satisfied as working mothers.

Fifth Trimester dream product: Have you seen the stroller that turns into a bike?

How about the one that drives itself?!

The Tagabike—which converts a million different ways to let you either stroll or bike your 6 month to 4 year old kiddo around town—is pretty much Fifth Trimester dream territory. Imagine commuting your babe to daycare in this, or getting your exercise on the weekend with baby in tow? And yes, they make it in a double. And it has an adaptor for your car seat too.

And the two Dutch engineers in this video are my nominees for the Nobel Prize for Parents (which totally should exist). They used car technology to create a stroller that stops automatically before bumping into anything and can follow you down the sidewalk. Watch them prank these cute unsuspecting Europeans....

The strange backstory behind the military's new paid parental leave policies

"Daddy's Uniform" via flikr user Patrick Malone

Last month, I wrote gleefully here about how the military had expanded maternity leave to 12 weeks for women in all branches (a boon for most—but a cutback for the Navy and Marines, which had previously approved 18 weeks). Men would receive 10 days of paternity leave. Not equitable, but an improvement, nonetheless.

Well, the architect of that modernization, acting undersecretary of defense for personnel and readiness, Brad Carson, has resigned under pressure from lawmakers after what the Military Times called his "disastrous" confirmation hearing. (There, Sen. John McCain called Carson's efforts around personnel reform, "an outrageous waste of time and resources." Various reports note that McCain was mostly peeved that Carson had overstepped his boundaries before being officially confirmed. But, still, man.) Carson's last day is April 8.

That's a loss, it seems, but Carson's vision will live on, allowing thousands of military families to humanely transition into parenthood. He even helped pass a provision to help service members freeze their eggs and sperm in case of injuries during combat. And his proposals for longer paternity leave (14 days instead of 10), longer hours for military daycares, and expanded access to mothers' lactation rooms (imagine!) are still on the table.

Lots of days here on the T5T blog, I'll write quippy lists or share my own kids' cute artwork about breastfeeding. But let's not forget the more serious stories, and the allies we've got in the Fifth Trimester, too—the people who stick their necks out to make more sensible policies around new working parenthood, sometimes even risking their careers. Mr. Carson, thank you.

This is what it looks like when a high-powered, awesome Swedish mom goes back to work

(After six months—six months!—of maternity leave.)

Last week, Swedish Centre Party leader Annie Lööf and her maternity leave fill-in, a very game Anders W. Jonsson, released this awesome "Now. She. Is. Back." video spoof. You don't need to have been a childhood fan of the Muppets' Swedish Chef (like me) to translate the message here:

• Maternity leave is normal.
• Women come back to work capable and prepared and healthy.
• So emotionally healthy, in fact, that they can make fun of themselves...
• ...And the men are 100% on board, too. 
  
  As Lööf told The Local Sweden, in reality, she had "full confidence in Jonsson," whom she called "an eminent substitute." And she didn't hesitate to take her six months. "It was not a difficult choice, that these six months were going to be a time at home for me and [baby] Ester. Meanwhile, of course, I did not leave the political work behind; rather I carefully followed developments."
  
  Now that is how it's done! (Video below.)

Annie Lööf är tillbaka på jobbet efter att ha varit föräldraledig. Under tiden har Anders W Jonsson vikarierat som partiledare men nu är Annie redo att ta över rodret igen och ta debatten om jobben, miljön och hela landet. Läs en intervju med henne här: https://www.centerpartiet.se/2016/04/01/annie-loof-tillbaka-pa-jobbet/

Brilliant mid-maternity leave idea: The co-worker catch-up lunch

Thanks to this kind group of work friends for letting me interrupt. That's new mom Lauren, top right, in the blue shirt.

Heading back home to NYC from spring break in Colorado yesterday, we stopped for lunch in Denver at the Four Friends Kitchen (cornbread croutons = genius, btw).

As we ate, I noticed a happy-looking group of—what else?—four friends at the next table over. Then, one of them pulled her adorably tiny newborn baby out of his stroller and started passing him around the table and things got even happier. Many oohs, many ahhs. I couldn't help overhearing: The baby was about a month old, and the mom was eager for advice from the other women about how to get a better night's sleep (go figure). As I rudely stared and eavesdropped I realized: Hey, they all have on ID lanyards except the mom, and the lightbulb went on: She must be on leave, and they were having a co-worker catch-up lunch.

And because, apparently, I am now a lady on a mission, I popped right up to interview her.

"Yes! That's exactly what we're doing," Lauren Harrington told me excitedly, introducing her baby Wesley and her colleagues, all early childhood education specialists at the Mental Health Center of Denver. "I wanted to reconnect. They're my co-workers, but they're also really good friends of mine, so I asked them to meet me for lunch," says Lauren, who's headed back to work in a couple of weeks, sooner than she'd like. "But it'll help having seen them," she says. "It's reinvigorating."

Such a great idea.

In my old job, there was an unspoken tradition that new moms would bring their babies in (usually right around 8 weeks, after they'd had their shots). I loved those days, when a beloved colleague would show up, dressed way down, but somehow seeming more capable than ever. Still, when it was my turn, I was a little self conscious about the whole thing, not wanting to be disruptive. That's where the lunch idea is such a great one. Steal it! And congratulations to Lauren and her supportive colleagues. I hope you get some sleep soon!

The life-changing magic of the co-worker hand-me-down

photo by Tara Todras-Whitehill (baby foot by me)

Once upon a time, one million years ago (actually eight), my wonderful colleague Suze—who has impeccable taste and three beautiful boys—passed her "lucky" boy bassinet down to our colleague (and my work BFF) Erin.

When Erin's baby Alex outgrew the gorgeous white wicker beauty, she passed it along, with Suze's blessing, to me. It arrived on my doorstep encased impeccably in bubble wrap.

And about nine or so weeks into my maternity leave, right around the time baby Will busted his way out of his Miracle Blanket, I sent the bassinet back to Suze to pass along to another friend who'd just come home from the hospital with her own little bundle of boy.

This, my friends, is family-friendly work culture at its best. It wasn't ordered by management, or written up as policy. It was just a nice thing one veteran mom did for a newbie, with a wink about its magic to turn even the fussiest boys into good sleepers. That sweet little bassinet helped me know:
- It's okay to pass along parenting advice right in the middle of the work day.
- When you're out on leave, it can be nice to have a little quotidien reminder of your temporarily-arrested work life. I thought of Suze and Erin a million times over those weeks away, and in some small way, that helped me bridge the two worlds of work and home.
- There would, believe it or not, come a time when I'd made it through these early days and had my act together enough to repay the kindness for some other more-new-than-me mom. And I did. Luckily for me, the mini fridge I gave to Rebecca to use for storing her pumped milk didn't require bubble wrapping!

What my boys think of this whole Fifth Trimester business

This week, I've been working with a designer to create a The Fifth Trimester (T5T) logo, and just when you think kids aren't listening.... Mine have started lobbying me to go with their designs instead. What do you think? (You'll notice a theme.) Here's Will's:

"It's a brain made of puzzle pieces and one of them is always missing."—Will, age 7

And here's Teddy's:

"It's a cow with those...what do you call the things that make milk? Udders. With udders. But one of the udders is missing."—Teddy, age 4

I can't decide if I'm impressed or horrified, but as someone who has occasionally suffered from Mom Brain, and who fixated for the entirety of my own Fifth Trimesters on pumping and having enough milk, I've gotta say: I kind of think they nailed it.

Meet the only person who can change our workplace culture issue (you know her).

A funny thing happens when everyone brings their real selves to work: It becomes the new normal.

One of the big themes of my book (turned in the revision yesterday—woohoo!) is that while U.S. policy around parental leave and reentry may stink, real cultural change can happen right now, politics aside, one woman and one workplace at a time.

Often, on this blog, I'll look at other countries and see how they're getting things right. Why not steal some great ideas and bring the home, right? Weelllll, a new report out of the U.K., conducted by the Equality and Human Rights Commission shows that even the most generous maternity leave policies aren't perfect. A huge 77% of the 3000 U.K. mothers surveyed had experienced "negative or possibly discriminatory" behavior at work either before, during, or after maternity leave, according to the report. In a word: Yikes. This is a country where women and men are entitled to share 50 weeks of leave per child and still these biases continue.

I'm a glass is half full woman. So, instead of being defeated by this statistic, I'm going to choose to think of it this way: We can't rely on broad, sweeping policies to make all of the changes we'd like to see for new parents. They are only a start. You—yes you, mom, new mom, mom-to-be, one-day mom—can make the real change happen here by:
A) Pointing out and stopping discrimination when you see it at work in even the most subtle ways
and
B) Proving, by example, that women come back from maternity leave more capable than before, not less.